I Am On The Mend, At Least Now I Can Say That I Am Trying, And I Hope You Will Forget Things I Still Lack

I'm going to start citing my title lyrics, just in case anyone likes that little bit and wants to know what song it's from :)
Th above is from a song called Sowing Season by Brand New, and I loves it very much so.

Okay so, I have this problem, and it's frustrating.
it's called jealousy.
Some people might not really see this, and think I have other problems such as creepiness, obsession, loudness etc etc.
But really, jealousy gets me every time.
I keep it quiet, I don't want to come off as a selfish stuck-up attention whore, but I am easily jealousized.
I know this isn't a word.
Even seeing certain people walking together, even certain people having classes together, even people who get more than just a wave and a smile.
It all makes me jealous.
I try very hard to not let it upset me, but I'm not perfect.

Another problem I have is self-doubt.
I have it on an extreme level, and it as well is frustrating.
I doubt when people say I'm pretty, when people say I'm smart, when people say I'm funny.
Most of all, I doubt that certain people even care.
And I think that maybe on some level, this can push people away and that scares me.
I don't want to be left behind, but I'm too scared to leave everyone behind.
I'm a coward, although to some people, you're a coward if you leave everyone behind.
Okay, according to one person.
But maybe I'm a coward? I think I am. I think I'm a lot of things actually, but not a lot of these things are positive.
But I'm my own person, I can do this. I can do anything, and maybe I will.
Ya sure, sometimes I wish I could curl up in a ball and just cry, but I'm not the only one.
I am not alone.

And finally, a letter to a certain person:

Dear Blank,

Thanks for caring.

Love(?),
Me


lots of problems,

the.(beautiful).let.down

And maybe someday
We'll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now and
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud
We'll be better off somehow
Someday

Someday(RobThomas)