^Set The Fire To The Third bar-Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright
I don't exactly know why I'm writing, I don't have much to say.
I think I think that every time I go to write and then I end up writing this whole long thing.
Do you think it's stupid of me to kind of want to be a psychiatrist?
At one end of the spectrum you could say that I've had to deal with a lot, most of it people don't know about, so I could really relate to patients. But at the other end, if I'm so messed up I really shouldn't be trying to help other messed up people.
As much as I'd like to be a psychiatrist, I just don't think I can.
I definitely do not have the drive or the brain to do it.
What ever, you can think I'm smart, and yes, by comparison to a lot of other people I am, but when it comes to getting a Bsc and then going to Med School, some people just aren't cut out for it. Usually math is a strength for doctors, it definitely is my weakness.
I think my only choice is music. And I don't say that in a bad way.
I love music more than anything and I need it.
To be able to get somewhere with it would be the most amazing thing ever.
Sure, I'd love to actually be a musician, write and record and do concerts and such, but that requires talent.
I have some, but not enough to make it...
So maybe I could work at a record company, start at the bottom, work my way up to CEO or something.
Or I could be a producer.
Or I could be an agent.
Or maybe a song writer.
I could do a lot of things.
It seems like we're way too young to be thinking about this, and I think that too, but there's so much pressure from friends (especially high achieving ones like mine) and teachers and sometimes your parents. They start talking about University and College and Apprenticeships and Co-Op and everything like that and we're only 15. I think they should've kept grade 13 so we could wait until Grade 12 to start making decisions, when we're actually adults.
As much as I hate school, I'd hate it much less if it was slower, with a lot less pressure and more time to figure out who you are.
Another thing I've felt a lot of pressure about lately is sex.
I always thought grade 10 would be too young, but apparently it's really not.
I don't want to just go off and do it just to say I did, I want to find someone who I love and can do it with where I won't regret it. I know not a lot of people have at our age, certainly not the majority, but even just one or a couple of people make a huge difference in what you think and it's changed my whole view on it.
Now I just have to go find a perfect boyfriend that I fall in love with...
Wish me luck!
lots of searching,
the.(beautiful).let.down
<3
It's hard to argue when
you won't stop making sense
But my tongue still misbehaves and it
keeps digging my own grave with my
Hands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens
Why would I sabotage
the best thing that I have
Well, it makes it easier to know
exactly what I want with my
Hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
that your heart opens
It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy
Hands Open-(snowpatrol)
No comments:
Post a Comment