I have finally been writing again, SO HAPPY.
So I just want to post them here, because I know I'll lose the actual papers they're written on. They're not too good, but at least they're an outlet :)
I don't really have names so I'm just making them up now... they'll be lame :P
Leaving
Walk away from this
Go far away from this
I just want you to be happy
But I can't stay here
No, it's not safe here
I think I'm going crazy
You need to know i love you
I'd do anything for you
But I have to start trying to live
I miss who I used to be
I've lost who I want to be
And I'm sorry but I have to leave
Sorries
I'm sending mixed messages and I'm sorry for that
I'm writing "I'm fine" in blood and I'm sorry for that
I'm not who you love and I'm sorry for that
But I'm trying my best, I'm not sorry for that
61%
Anger seeps from my pores
Thinking of all those closed doors
"Failure" you scream
Say goodbye to your dreams
Because you're not good enough
And you never will be
Mask
When I was younger I had my mask and it was easy to see through
As I grew older I got smarter, now my mask is almost true
I hide behind my mask so that people don't see pain
And I plaster on fake smiles as if everything's okay
I go day by day wondering if someone will crack through
And spill out the broken pieces that are all because of you
They'll pick them up so carefully and patch them up with glue
So that I don't need my mask
So that my smiles can be true
Ropes
Your words, like ropes, give me something to hold onto
I cling to them desperately, wanting to prove to you
That I'm happy and I'm smiling, that I'll be okay
But I'm slipping and I'm falling and I don't have many more days
Soon your words become nooses and I'm hanging on them
I stop breathing, I stop trying, I think this is the end
You've killed me with words, buried me underground
My eyes burn with hate but I don't make a sound
To The Sea
You drag me to the sea
Tie rocks to my ankles and leave
You laugh as you see my fear
I'm drowning in all these tears
I go under for the last time
But this life I've lost isn't mine
I was gone so long ago
And I think that you should know
That you took my soul away
And maybe you should pray
To a god that I don't believe in
Because my heart's become hate ridden
The Manipulator
Leave me to my vices
Walk away during time of crises
My blood is on your hands and you know it
But still you just smile and sit
On your throne of power and manipulation
While no one but me fears this situation
That I and so many others are in
Where you use and toss us in dirty trash bins
Like we're garbage, like we're nothing, like we don't matter
You strip us of hope and leave our clothes in tatters
But the outside only sees your shell
That emits light and joy and makes you want to tell
Your deepest darkest secrets but please don't do that
Because he'll use and abuse you like a dirty door mat
He'll pretend to care but all the while
He's just luring you in with his addictive smile
And soon you'll see the fakeness but by then it's too late
He'll have convinced you into thinking that darkness is your fate
Dirty Little Secret
Drip drip goes the blood
Break break goes my heart
If you think of it please don't start
Because you'll end up with a cart
Full of razorblades and gauze and scar reducing cream
Full of hate and need and unheard screams
You'll convince yourself that you're just fine
Your head will be filled with all these lies
And you'll want to tell the world that you're in pain
But you love your little secret, still, it's all in vain
It'll be once then twice then everyday
And you'll give up trying to find the words that say
Help.
If you were expecting happy poems... you obviously don't know me :P These are an outlet not fairytales.
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